i'm gonna write about my life, and let's just say the writing won't be all that cheerful, in order that the life may be more so.

since i signed up for this livejournal, and i've been afraid or just  unable to use it.

here's the thing:  my  marriage is troubled.

sometimes i really don't like my husband.  i don't think he likes me, much, either.  we are not having a good day of it today. 

also, we don't have sex anymore.  i don't even like kissing him.  though i would consider having an affair if there were anyone around to have one with.

but we do have children, and i won't leave them.

not that i could.  i have no job, no income.  i'm stuck.  i made the classic mistake, and now i have no way out.

well... hello there internet.

i'm new to this, but i need it.

i need a lifeline, for when i'm feeling so alone and trapped i can't stand it.

i need not to worry that i sound stupid and selfish and privileged and whiny.  because my feelings are real, even if they're all those things too.

i'll be writing here mostly about my marriage, which i guess some people would kill for.

i don't know.  it's a double edged sword.

i know i'm not the only one who feels some of the things i do.  i hope you'll comment, but if you don't , that's fine too.  i still need to do this.

peace,
r